Life Lessons from the Trenches

Cody McLain
3 min readJun 21, 2024

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I’ve never been one for sugarcoating or platitudes. Life is messy, complicated, and often downright confusing. But amidst the chaos, I’ve managed to uncover some truths that have helped me navigate this winding path with a bit more grace and a lot more humor.

One of the most profound realizations I’ve had is that growth is rarely comfortable. It’s not the stuff of inspirational posters or feel-good quotes. Real growth often involves facing your fears, confronting your weaknesses, and willingly stepping into the unknown. I remember a time when I was terrified of public speaking. My palms would sweat, my voice would tremble, and I’d rather have done just about anything else. But I knew that if I wanted to progress in my career, I needed to conquer this fear. So I started small, volunteering to speak at local events and gradually working my way up to larger audiences. It was uncomfortable, sometimes even painful, but with each talk, I grew a little more confident, a little more self-assured. Growth, I learned, is earned through discomfort.

But life isn’t all about pushing yourself. It’s also about savoring the moments of joy and connection. I used to be so focused on achieving my goals that I’d often let these moments slip by unnoticed. I’d be at a friend’s wedding, mentally rehearsing for a big presentation, or I’d be playing with my kids while simultaneously checking my work emails. One day, a close friend called me out on it. “You’re never fully present,” she said. “It’s like you’re always waiting for the next thing.” That conversation was a wake-up call. I started practicing mindfulness, making a conscious effort to fully engage with the moment at hand. And you know what? Life got a whole lot richer. The colors seemed brighter, the laughter louder, the love deeper. Presence, I discovered, is the key to truly living.

Another lesson that’s taken me years to learn is the importance of vulnerability in relationships. I used to think that being strong meant never showing weakness, never asking for help, never admitting I was struggling. But that only led to feelings of isolation and disconnection. It wasn’t until I started opening up to others — sharing my fears, my doubts, my imperfections — that I began to forge genuine, meaningful connections. I remember the first time I told a friend about my battle with anxiety. I was terrified she would judge me or think less of me. Instead, she hugged me and shared her own story of mental health challenges. That moment of vulnerability bonded us in a way that superficial interactions never could. Vulnerability, I now understand, is the foundation of true intimacy.

I could go on about the lessons I’ve learned — the importance of setting boundaries, the power of forgiveness, the joy of a well-timed silly dance party — but I’ll leave you with this: Life is the ultimate teacher. Every experience, every relationship, every triumph and failure holds a lesson. Our job is to pay attention, to approach each moment with curiosity and openness. We won’t always get it right. We’ll stumble, we’ll make mistakes, we’ll get knocked down. But if we can learn to embrace the discomfort, to fully engage with the present, to show up authentically and vulnerably — well, that’s when the magic happens. That’s when we start truly living

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Cody McLain
Cody McLain

Written by Cody McLain

Founder of $12m SupportNinja, Author of From Foster Care to Millionaire book, Host of MindHack.com Podcast